deadly confessions part recover :hell s Acitivty
April 1, 2014 at 4:29am
A new Novel released soon …..`
heres a snippet
I had A Confession Session with realitives yesterday at Breakfast it was so much fun embarrasing relief disbelief even for myself mostly story so deep I need Oprah to help tell story but I d like to share even the strangest situations can heal overtime,even the wildest realtionships heal or desolve whuch is better to go away start new all things new as im doing ,feeling this newiness has brought more strength ,more confidence and im working on image slow process after while im gonna hit the gym get sexy back,Feels good that I can attend what I love to relief stress ,even ma fam discussed we need to relocate ,even realtives decided that what we ladies lack is GOOD HONEST LOVING and Ive gotta get prepared for this segment a looooogtime and Ive gotta be fit in shape and emtionally ready ,Ive exhaled but Im ready to step into a relationship Be Successful Protected and held in new arms that will hold me um I love Intimacy.
Its so hardest to been moved on not so emotionally attached
And its a train ride of confusion a train ride of dirty penis crap drop off I been left feeling deeply filthy
Im not comfortable when I had thearpy I was supervised to only say so much this is not a confession its my money career friends jobs houses cars life fake ass marriage life rep ruined and more. How do i step outside the box and help those to also help myself simple share stories connect rebuild show gratitude show advisory resources be on move elevate thinking heal self become one with Jesus take time to challenge source to develop since of being understand elements evolution give time to relieve all clutter write journal entry cool off steam be egared to get over situation understand nothing really takes over night but oveer tiime be gentle with yourself stop bad habbits bad patterns bad date patterns bad friends choice bad outlook bad thinking bad cooking bad structure as whole bad sense of way bad verbal speaking im exercising this myself ,bad dress code,bad skills mean lazy ways.We all have done or still is doing Asking a favor of you Heartians TeamHeart do RECOVER
Ive been injured all my life including infant stages ,adding trials tests triumpt moments ,delivering the goods services rendered,Confessions deadly recovered myself by spilling beans likek vomit ,chocked up by thoughts ,I needed to heal and Im still healing ,Growing Pains have grown with me overtime over years I can say Im moving on throgh threats thru low down dirty evil greed of stalkers rapers Im strong to attempt and keep faith I am
Ive escaped by death so many times I return in Honor this is for the Innocent only.And highlighted grace and strategy which here I cannot share but I will reveal sitting in struggle because of ID THEFT ,GANG VIOLENCE,INSIDE GANG VIOLENCE im searching control of my own life.
Burning tears restless eyes loneliness robbed of livelyhood protected by same hands that scorned me a movie score but its still not right they follow me watch me like owls in the night and day switch rotating hours days and hire help relocate and find me stalk me afar off while laugh live celebrate my riuns sash turned profit to ghetto kept for brag twisted rights sexual favors of those realted to me ,once befriend me ,sick discust b=nerve to touch me and also take it sneak into house ,hide into homes,garge,under cars ,behind trees,in neighbors yard for chance to break in home job school and take over crunk ville hell s activity from hellsville time i recover love gone too far thirst gone too far emotions gone too far becomes a sick twisted obsessions unfair treatment since I was a small child when new comes their hurt ran away raped etc too coming close to me is bad for others not something ive caused but the outlook seems to be blameful this is when i need my life back its been sabotaged ruined charged by darkenss bad guys /men/boys and the devil
Heres to finding mysself I loan to have a new life seems like im crazy i make up things because no one s physcially around but they are afar off it reigns tears down my face it reigns hopeless thoughts distress drives me
yet inspired by love ontop given me a new hope new sense of direction followed this has caused me to bcome a boss not of street hood term of Gov terms New Job/Education enrollments take care of me at this being said;Its time to add to the roster over 5 years of CELEBACY so proud of me.
Open to Newiness so excited for greatness too loyal to myself I remarried myself and have a new and full complete understanding of when where why how although i still seek help with finding truth remebering help comes from Jesus who reminds me in dreams so I record them remember me o lord a vessel who s cried for help at alter since I realized I was in earth and so has my offsprings heal ,hear them as you do me lord god JEsus ,MOST BEAUTIFUL ON HIGH.
Starting over oh my I havent dated in sooooooo long ,I m ready to laugh think choose ask about to ladies and male frends to value the opinons to help me determine to enjoy to find something special serious im over 30 yes its time to bring it home ,dating Ive always hated dont agree with it at all ,but its way of lately livelyhood lest rolls rightch here ya heard ?
Willing to raisse awareness let others help choose if this one is right for me ,so ive made checklists and checking it more than twice cause im gettin exy back and oh yea no choice but to be NICE ,really
Hi u doin ? well here s the reasons Ive started launching a new me ,it calls for demand out here hate living a double standard non exsistance life getting beat stompe raped framed because i want control of my own life.
I ve talked to Jesus he gives me answers insight most part I dont understand because im not in spiritual realem where I can hear clearly so I repent asking jesus to turn away his wrath upon me ,i came from scorned seeds and gave birth to one ,had pregancies of about 12# ,included 4 miscarriages stomped outta mme brutally my ex and his common law wife,Ive been stomped in stomach more then a few times alot and my womb cant hold babys but this curse determined by doctors has been broken my child is here amen ,id like a family of my own ive said this lived a lie with a man his family copuple times and experienced it with another man ,its a curse everytime.
Id like to channel my emotion go in now for newiness this is so expired yet sick when I thought i was dating searching new it was gang members ex sent me my way,it was his friends ,pimp,his work buds ,etc sickness ,And when I chose I was so messed up I just didnt trust like I dont know now how to react to going out there but ready for some fun ready to meet new faces ,ready to launch a new life ,ole saying isnt always true but mostly dependable and that s ,your heart hasnt been broken enough or yet.
This is why I HAVE A SCARE…
its the worst when exes revisit family friends realitives for a sexual rekindle activitiys favor support feed their weakness for sick control.
My Actions after this repeated sickness I bore a child
not a choice forced entry ,wised up left after realitives helped raise awareness and I figured it out.
now test say other wise yet i havent been tested enough. Actions need ti be addressed so I did to sources and new.I moved away from areas that brought evil forced winds blew harm or dirty sexual unwanted favors.Being a prisoner of someones love seems like a fantasy ,chanting for this favor is dangerous,have confidence; high self esteem ,to help wisel from abuse on every level. I can take pain a sick chant I heard a cousin say ,others growing up thought this would help somewhat if got an ouie not a brutal sense elcipse from hell ,naw i stopped saying this after I heard that camp fire raping sessions,to the on booddocks road trip rapings accured ,to mother talling that swhy you got raped,to mental catering to slow parent ,to slow bfs,to slow realitives ,to me finding out im on edge slow.a shocker hard to accept .To a slow bf dragged out off on relation not relationship but a partical agreement to be with each other ,to shocker he of few set up to rape me in my favorite park the lagoon ,to my ex palying like homeless man to only later get involved to set up entire inccident to be brutal and get away with it ,leanring from his demons and forefathers who taught him ways of wrong,most men have sad upbringing to none raised by dog and wolves.To Girls experiencing the same thing,sad our generation circles neighborhoods.
stomp me then they all say and thats for lieing about being married youre husband sent us everytime I ran tried to hide tried to report it tried to send in mail they check my mail ,people going in ,coming out ,help from the churches innner ciites to outta states ,name spread ,tapes sent to ministry dept to SLANDER MY NAME ,and kicked outta schools,jobs,colleges,etc now its attacked my child her place of business this is WHAT PISSED ME OFF TO THE CORE ! to be told no one can have me, my mother is a witness,yet fear and paid money etc value causes sick betrayal , causes folks to forget lie hide its all good id rather know how a person is now then later or when im indeep with love or friendship.
Lessons learned been overtaken by wrong hands over control freaks obsessions runn common and its way past nerve wrecking now im so weak to emotion and all cried out so heres where the activist has already stood up made reports shared fair story and hopes for a new mr who a heaven sent man down to earth in gracefulness just for me umm can hardly wait to taste new ,smell new ,feel his new,embrace his new,await in anticipation of his new ,well to be continued …..
wriitern by bmi writer shantel hobson d.
aka Sonya Milwaukee Journalist ~public relations (currently under legal review )
/Music Label Owner/Music Publishing Exectv.
All Copyrights Reserved by shantel hobson d. 2014.
STAGENAMES : SONYA MILWAUKEE WI JOURNALIST ,UK/USA~ARTIST /SINGER /SONGWRITER/SHANTELHEART
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